God · Marriage · Personal · Relationships ♥

Overthinking Is Over

It has been 8 years since R and I made a pact and committed ourselves to stand by each other every day. It’s no biggie that after a very looooong time, we are now getting married! *giggles*

While I feel extra excited about the wedding preparations, I sometimes find myself being lost in the opposite side. I have plans on my own and so does R. Plans that we need to reconcile one way or another. There are days that doubts haunt me. Am I going to be a good wife? Am I fit for having a husband as responsible as R? Am I worthy of his love? Am I enough? What if I get too tired to do the chores? What if he gets mad at me when I make bad decisions in the future?
Okay, so I’m kind of confused right now. And I’m totally going to be craaaaazy. If I continue to think about this tomorrow and the next day after tomorrow, I might die. Not die literally. Come on!
Gaaaah, this is not going to be easy. Can life get any more serious? I mean, I don’t know what to think of anymore. I am not a fan of house-keeping nor house-wife-ing. And I must admit, I am terrible at doing household chores. Washing my own clothes or even cooking cannot be found anywhere in my To- Do List. Oh no. I am never going to be a good wife to my husband the same way that I am never ever going to be a good mom to my kids. Boy, this is way too craaaaazy.

The other day, R and I got the chance to somehow discuss my feelings about getting married to him and how it will drastically change our lives, BIGTIME. I got too emotional that R kept poking and joking me. (Even in simple talks we tend to be balanced. When I get mad, he gets sweet. When he gets moody, I go clingy.) And this time, he did not want to dance with my emotions. Instead, he overshoot me with teasing smiles as I tell him all these. I got annoyed and there, signalling him that I was dead serious about every word I said. Now, he’s with me. *blink*

He was very reassuring. I just love how he comforts me in any way he can. God, thank you for your wonderful plan of allowing me to spend the rest of my life with this man.  R told me that he’s always by my side to fill up the spaces in me. Marriage is composed of two people who strive to complement and NOT complicate each other. And with this, I humbly rest my case. In Ephesians 4:2-3, it says clearly..

“Be completely humble and gentle; Be patient, bearing with one another in love. Make every effort to keep the unity of the spirit through the bond of peace.”

Sometimes, I tend to be so futuristic. In result, I overthink. I don’t see anything wrong about being able to see things that are yet to happen, however, I realized that us believers, should not think this way. I’m saying, God has brought us, R and I, in this marriage because it is His plan to get us together forever. He designed and built us this way for His glory and nothing else. We should hope for the future instead of getting against it. He will bless our marriage just as how He continue to bless us as individuals.

Worry sometimes gets me and I should not allow it to eat or even pinch me. Being able to overcome fear is a result of trusting in God’s plans. And being able to trust God is a result of accepting Him with no conditions.

Jeremiah 29:11..

“For I know the plans I have for you, ‘Declare The Lord,’ plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”

By His grace, I will be a great wife to R and a super mom to our children-to-be. Nothing can keep me from being the person God wants me to be. R and I will go hand in hand in every step we are going to take. Together, we will make great things and memories that will be worth-sharing to our kids in the future.   

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